Somewhere I have never been but would love to go:
I Love Barbecue. Living in the south for sometime I learned to recognize places to get good barbecue, (more about that later) and heard about the world of competitive barbecue. Sometimes the food network has competitive barbecuers on TV and it looks like so much fun. They have giant elaborate grills and smokers on trailers, so they can travel to different barbecue competitions around the country. Inside the rigs are large unmarked jars of spice rubs, whose recipe they guard with zeal. At the competition, they tend the fires with all the care of a steam train fire man, watching for hot spots and flare ups. The smell of burning wood and slow cooking meat must be amazing.
Writing this, I looked up barbecue competitions, and there are many more than I ever imagined. I think I will be doing this soon.
My Rules for Finding Good Barbecue:
1. If it is a chain with more than 3 locations, or if those locations are more than 200 miles apart: -50
2. If the location is in a strip mall: -20
3. If the building has an indoor seating -10
4. Add 5 points for each of the following that is missing; Public bathroom, doors, windows, floor.
5. If the location is a guy in a trailer with a picnic table outside +25
6. If the trailer is next to the interstate -5
7. If you are given a printed menu -10
8. If the menu has more than 10 things on it -10
9. If the menu has fish -10 or vegetarian dishes -50
10. If most of the signs are written in magic marker and taped somewhere +10
11. If the cook is also the person that takes your order +10
12. If the cook is related to the person that takes your order +8
13. If there are utensils -5, if they are not plastic -10
14. If the food is served on anything that has to be washed -10
15. If there are other people eating there who the cook has known for more than 20 years +15
16. Add 5 points if you are in a state that was part of the Confederacy